mum

I could never really thought much about parents and family.until today. My stepmom got drunk.today and she began talking about how i should be more considerate about my mum. She said i should put my.mom.before her as in the end she is the illegitimate one. She was really pitiful and the fact I am saying this makes her even more pitiful. She has been struck with the most injustice of all. She got.divorced, bore a girl who is a bitch and in the end ends up with my father. She deserves and it led me to question that whether life is fair or not.
I dont really like to talk about my own mother. I just think she had too much role in my gynophobia. Its the past and i know i should get over it. It is a taboo. Well to my family they never took note of it. I had concealed it well for some time.

Fool

Don't be a fool  for the city lights? Yes, people shouldn't be a fool for what they aspire, because they will become distracted from their real intentions in life, to survive within the environment. In a way, I am relating it to my life. I have been blinded by my ambition to overrule most people that i began to be insensitive to other people's emotion. In some way, my dad's principles have influenced me. It appears to be true that I inherit parts of my father. His self-righteousness is becoming a part of me. I don't like the feeling but it is an instinctive response to things and matter. There is an overwhelming desire within people that initiates people's motive to "wreck" and dominate others. It is innate within human.

control

what people want is control. They require control in almost every part of their life. I am not talking about control as in dominance over other people although it plays a small part within control. More specifically, I am talking how people can grapple with their own life. Control is the ability to manifest one's own desire, and at most time it fails. Only a few people in this world that can have control of their lives. It is not the prime minister, nor is it his fellow parliament. It is neither rich nor is it the most resourceful person. It is the weak and poor they can have absolute control the control of their mind.

Indifference

I have to do well.  More like, I need to do well in tomorrow's exam. I have put in so much effort on this assessment. I have asked for help. And, I tell you, I am not the type that is willing to ask. To be honest with you, it does hurt my pride sometimes, because I am a man, a man who has strong principles about his own life. I wouldn't go about asking people questions, because i keep my business to myself and I also keep other people's business that involves me to themselves. I do like to get involved in gossips. Because gossips and shit talk are fun. Despite the immorality and ethics issues associated with it, it does bring joy and entertainment to people.

Prodigy

I am studious, but that does not make me a prodigy. People have mistaken the classification of a prodigy, it may be because they have not seen any real prodigy. Well, I have witnessed a few. They are crazy to the extremes. The closest one right now would be Jade. She is a prodigy, but hers is based upon her books. In a way, she is studious, or more accurately, she is considered book smart. She is intelligent, her rate of absorption of knowledge is almost 20 times of an average.  She is a product of knowledge itself. Her pursuit and desire for knowledge had made her this way.

But, I would like to talk about the next level of prodigy. Prodigies, who are masters of what they do, are terrifying. They can crush their mastery with their thumbs. They send chills within me because they belittle you to nought. Let me describe one of my friends, she is just a 7-year-old girl, but her ability with maths is beyond the levels of average human capacity. She is able to solve 18923535734*895735355 under a time of 13 seconds. Her ability to calculate with her head is equivalent to a calculator and she does so with a 99% accuracy. I bow down to her.

UNUSUAL

Well, for the first time, I made contact with the weed. It felt weird, but it was very light. It was as though my body was under the control of a gentle electric shock where each cell appeared to be detached from another and functions independently. The weirdest thing of all was that I was able to command my body mentally, however, it appeared that it was not totally following the instructions that my brain impulses. I was conscious, at the same time, unconscious and subconscious to a certain degree. It made the world appear to be more detailed, I could somehow see the ugliness, within this world, much more clearly. However, the details within contradict each other, where white is white, black is black, but simultaneously you see that white can, in fact, be black and vice versa. It was a very interesting experience, I wouldn't deny that. But, during that time, I was more focused about one thing. Was I really high, or was my body trying to simulate the "highness" because that is the expectation?

Rain

Rain is seem as a metonym of doom or a bad omen. In songs, rain is used as a symbol of sadness. Shakespeare uses it to foreshadow an ominous event. Many other composers also utilize rain with dark connotations. However, there is a certain tranquility within rain. Rain is not necessarily bad. It brings prosperity to the farmers and their crops. It washes away the dirty spots on the roads. It is a very vital part of life and it is very valuable to so many people. Then why do people go about and relating it to such terrible images? What I am concerned is why is there a such a stark distinction between the good and the bad?