Loss

So you win some and you loss some. There is something I really dislike about that saying and I think a little tweaking to the words better express how I feel. You win some yet* you lose some. The sense of losing isn't pleasant, this is probably as a result of my past experience with grief. But with a friend's problematic mental issues, that fear of losing has engulfed me once again. I'm afraid that perhaps he still exists but my existence is wiped about from his memory. My scent, my voice and my words are washed away into the ocean of unknown. I hope it doesn't happen especially with one of my recent losses which I can't not grapple. I think the fear of losing is innate in every man. My recent conversation Monique about her boyfriend's over protectiveness exemplies this. Guys well they are fragile I guess. When they lose something, they want to understand the how and the why which are often don't have answers. I haven't understood the reason I lost her as a friend. Perhaps it's a way of telling me that we ain't made for each other and there goes David's snickering in the background.  Yeh Yeh unrequited love. Loss makes men crazy because we want control. When people no longer are able to control others, they want to at least have control over their own lives and relationship. If they can't then they can't. So it goes we win some and we lose some or yet we lose some. But what if my win is not lose anything. Maybe that is too much to ask for. But you never want your wild dreams to fade to black.