Artist

I think each individual has an artist in themselves, perhaps it is what we call it our identity. Well, to me, art is any form of creativity. Creativity is another part of ourselves. Good art allows us to dig into the mind of the artist allowing us to sympathise them. They create an atmosphere where we could explore the garden of their morality. We need to respect such art. It is absurd to deem them as ugly. those who see beauty in the ugly are the mighty.

Loss

So you win some and you loss some. There is something I really dislike about that saying and I think a little tweaking to the words better express how I feel. You win some yet* you lose some. The sense of losing isn't pleasant, this is probably as a result of my past experience with grief. But with a friend's problematic mental issues, that fear of losing has engulfed me once again. I'm afraid that perhaps he still exists but my existence is wiped about from his memory. My scent, my voice and my words are washed away into the ocean of unknown. I hope it doesn't happen especially with one of my recent losses which I can't not grapple. I think the fear of losing is innate in every man. My recent conversation Monique about her boyfriend's over protectiveness exemplies this. Guys well they are fragile I guess. When they lose something, they want to understand the how and the why which are often don't have answers. I haven't understood the reason I lost her as a friend. Perhaps it's a way of telling me that we ain't made for each other and there goes David's snickering in the background.  Yeh Yeh unrequited love. Loss makes men crazy because we want control. When people no longer are able to control others, they want to at least have control over their own lives and relationship. If they can't then they can't. So it goes we win some and we lose some or yet we lose some. But what if my win is not lose anything. Maybe that is too much to ask for. But you never want your wild dreams to fade to black. 

Freshman

We are still young. Young enough to not take any responsibility. But when we get busted who is it to blame. It wouldn't you nor would it be. Perhaps we blame it on someone else. Maybe her the one who always sits by the side of the room? Or maybe the guy who keeps asking questions ridiculous questions? Or maybe we should blame the man who fail to clean the floor? Maybe we should blame god for playing these ridiculous pranks on us. But can we? We are struck in confusion, looking into each others eyes, thinking if there was one more thing we could do for him what would it be.  Listen to what he was saying? See him for one last time which none of us did for 3 years? We have been selfish maybe that was how we went to live at this age. We are still fresh, none of us really understood what nature is capable of. But we keep taunting that beast.

Bench

They sat on different sides of the bench, but it seemed a whole world were placed between them. It was a sad sight to look at. They obviously knew each other but they did not speak to each other. When their eyes met, all there was was a nod, a soft nod that says we used to be so close but look at where we are now. The rain poured heavily, the drip drop of the rain orchestrated the night. It was a sad sound. The two shuffled and shuffled, in response to each other. They were trying to spark up a conversation, however they are getting no where. They waited for the train. It was pouring. Yes it definitely was. A sad sight indeed. I watched them. But then the girl dropped her umbrella and feel slowly after it. The man reached out for her. He reached out to her. Their eyes met once again. Perhaps, something new was about to start. Perhaps there was a spark.

Prices

Is it necessary to put a price on everyone in life? Many things in this world are priceless, but modernisation happens to add a price tag on life. Do I have to quantitatively describe how i feel or how much i like something? This idea seems to dumb down all concepts in life, making things seem worthless. It is quite ironic that the most beautiful in life are priceless and most expensive. People will hate it if i pay someone to be a friend or a lover. I hate it as well. Time for us to revise about life.

Same

Now i wonder, what really matters~
Cause my heart is the same
Well, I wonder, how did I get here~
But everything is still the same
And i wonder, why we cant get there~
Yet, i cant do anything about it
But then you say we'll get somewhere~
So I just want to say

I know you don't want me but is it cause of hate
And then you want me to think that you love me
Only, if I am the same
Only, if i am the same

Yes, I wonder have I changed now~
And hope you remain the same
But then I wonder why i still worry~
So now wouldn't it be the same
I wonder where I'll be~
Where nothing else left
But i want you to say

I know you don't want me but is it cause of hate
And then you want me to think that you love me
Only, if I am the same
Only, if i am the same




note this is not a poem> it just something random in my head that i sing

Incomplete

After all these happens, I told myself that it is indeed time to get over it all. But, there is a vague sense of dissatisfaction that keeps on telling me that i should do something more about it. For 1 and a half years, my interest, my effort and my struggle. It seemed like i have done nothing for it. Time is telling me that i need to something more to it. Some that may be confronting or rather outrageous. Instead of trying to playing it safe, I need to do something and take risks. In the end, playing it safe and playing it outrageously have the same consequence. This leads me to consider maybe i shouldve been ruthless from the very start. So next time I promise my self. I will break through the barrier and add something else, before adding a full stop. I need to put a full stop cause a new paragraph can start.