Beast

There seems to be a subdued beast, whose has been put to sleep for the great cause of the society  But for some reason, it's sleep has been disturbed, it's peace has been brought to an end. He begins to hunt and venture into the realms of darkness. He craves the insecurity of others and is willing to dominate them until their bones shatters, their blood splatters on the surrounding. That beast wants to play but he knows he shouldn't. That beast wants more than that though. He wants the world to know that he is strong, better than anyone else, scarier than anyone else. But he hid it all his life  and now comes to the point that he is exposed to distress. His true nature unravels. His true nature will do all he wants to regain his sense of security. There is more to it. It isn't just a beast.

New

Next stop university
It will be a long wait until then and what I need to do is to recreate myself there. People say university is the place where you find your identity. A place where you do the things you love and take upon your own responsibility.
I have completed the hsc and I am willing to make a new start. Things began to change I'm getting some freedom. But at the same time I get new restriction as well. But it's alright in the end. We need to obey the rules and I don't really feel like fighting against such instructions.
Recently, friendship problem rises between people. I'm not really involved with any of those kind of problem. I have always been a neutral guy as in I'm never in a condition which leads into fights and intense argument.  Maybe except one occasion with harry trieu, which I felt bad doing. Well it's a new start soon so I need to say goodbye to some aspect of the past.

Lonely

Being lonely, is it a good thing or a bad thing? This is currently on my mind because these days after I gained some of my rights as a eighteen year old I began to turn to seek for peace. Somehow I find pleasure being by myself and watch those around me. It never occurred before. I always wanted to be with people or at least have someone to kill time with. However now it seems perhaps I need to time to myself where I learn more about my own body. Or a time I can just sit there by the park, at the bus stop or somewhere quiet and just think. Think about my own life and how lonely I've become.

Artist

I think each individual has an artist in themselves, perhaps it is what we call it our identity. Well, to me, art is any form of creativity. Creativity is another part of ourselves. Good art allows us to dig into the mind of the artist allowing us to sympathise them. They create an atmosphere where we could explore the garden of their morality. We need to respect such art. It is absurd to deem them as ugly. those who see beauty in the ugly are the mighty.

Loss

So you win some and you loss some. There is something I really dislike about that saying and I think a little tweaking to the words better express how I feel. You win some yet* you lose some. The sense of losing isn't pleasant, this is probably as a result of my past experience with grief. But with a friend's problematic mental issues, that fear of losing has engulfed me once again. I'm afraid that perhaps he still exists but my existence is wiped about from his memory. My scent, my voice and my words are washed away into the ocean of unknown. I hope it doesn't happen especially with one of my recent losses which I can't not grapple. I think the fear of losing is innate in every man. My recent conversation Monique about her boyfriend's over protectiveness exemplies this. Guys well they are fragile I guess. When they lose something, they want to understand the how and the why which are often don't have answers. I haven't understood the reason I lost her as a friend. Perhaps it's a way of telling me that we ain't made for each other and there goes David's snickering in the background.  Yeh Yeh unrequited love. Loss makes men crazy because we want control. When people no longer are able to control others, they want to at least have control over their own lives and relationship. If they can't then they can't. So it goes we win some and we lose some or yet we lose some. But what if my win is not lose anything. Maybe that is too much to ask for. But you never want your wild dreams to fade to black. 

Freshman

We are still young. Young enough to not take any responsibility. But when we get busted who is it to blame. It wouldn't you nor would it be. Perhaps we blame it on someone else. Maybe her the one who always sits by the side of the room? Or maybe the guy who keeps asking questions ridiculous questions? Or maybe we should blame the man who fail to clean the floor? Maybe we should blame god for playing these ridiculous pranks on us. But can we? We are struck in confusion, looking into each others eyes, thinking if there was one more thing we could do for him what would it be.  Listen to what he was saying? See him for one last time which none of us did for 3 years? We have been selfish maybe that was how we went to live at this age. We are still fresh, none of us really understood what nature is capable of. But we keep taunting that beast.

Bench

They sat on different sides of the bench, but it seemed a whole world were placed between them. It was a sad sight to look at. They obviously knew each other but they did not speak to each other. When their eyes met, all there was was a nod, a soft nod that says we used to be so close but look at where we are now. The rain poured heavily, the drip drop of the rain orchestrated the night. It was a sad sound. The two shuffled and shuffled, in response to each other. They were trying to spark up a conversation, however they are getting no where. They waited for the train. It was pouring. Yes it definitely was. A sad sight indeed. I watched them. But then the girl dropped her umbrella and feel slowly after it. The man reached out for her. He reached out to her. Their eyes met once again. Perhaps, something new was about to start. Perhaps there was a spark.