dusk til dawn

I MADE NO RECOLLECTION OF WHAT THEY MEANT UNTIL THE AGE OF 13. YES IT IS PROBABLY I WAS STILL AN ILLITERATE CUNT. BUT SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO USE THE IMAGERY IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT. THIS IMAGERY IS SO POWERFUL AND IT IS ONE OF MY FAVOURTIE. IT TAUGHT ME THAT THERE IS ALWAYS AN END AND A BEGINNING. BETWIXT THE END AND THE BEGINNING, LIES THE PROCESS. TODAY NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT THE PROCESS. PEOPLE JUDGE EACH OTHER LIKE THEY ARE JOB APPLICANTS WHERE THEIR PRESENTATION IS ALL THAT MATTERS. NO ONE REALLY GOES DEEP AND  TRIES UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE IMAGE.

History

As Julian Barnes wrote “History is that certainty produced at the point where the imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation.”, history is based upon uncertainties. In the end, history is unarguably biased and inaccurate. That is all that i can say as an observer. It is the words of the victor, the delusion of the vanquished.

Line

These days, my life seems to be bounded by big black inky line. A line that is marked by the attitudes confines my opinions and attitude to the world. It seems like a line has been drawn to everything. It makes me feel that I need to get my acts together and know and accept the boundaries that have been put in place. It may be because my birthday is coming up in a weeks time. I'll be 18 then. My mind is perhaps preparing me for the real world where I have to be responsible for everything I do. Meaning, I should not rely on my parents anymore, even though they were never much help to me. I love them, but its just that they haven't really played much in my life. I have only learnt to not take the bad things from them.

Immortality?

As the time goes on, on and on,

My life, no longer, stands still,

And I can't win this marathon

To let my life be raven's kill.

 

As the clock ticks, my own soul last,

Yet others pass with life's farewells,

While I wish my death comes fast,

Wishing to hear no more church bells.

 

I stared at my hourglass,

As specks of sand drop as time goes,

As church bells ring and ravens pass,

To pass before the death's gate close.

 

Scared of death, now scared of life,

Realised immortality is no prize,

After painful visions of my wife,

To be the one to do in my eyes.

 

Bid me to weep, and I will weep,

At the visions which my eyes see,

Eternity, I have died too deep,

Return me to what I used to be.

 

Families dead, friends are gone,

Forever is no longer what I want,

Since I know my prestense desire is wrong,

Forgive me and give back what I want.

 

I envy the graves beneath the beech,

Believing that one day, it will be me,

To be a dead man, and be leeched,

To be me like normal man to me.

 

Yet as I turn round, I see that

My candle is still burning and haven't rot,

I realised my life is like a rat,

When immortality is all I got.

Blinded

People can only see what I allow them to see.
What I allow people to see is less than 2% of who or what I am.
Just to remind you all that there is no point of judging me.
I choose to be nice to you when I want to.
If you decide to treat like shit, I will make sure you regret it.
I will immerse myself in darkness and destroy you.
When I plan to destroy someone, I will not do it lightly.
I will choose the grandest method of destruction and make sure that it doesn't stain my hands.
No one will know the truth.
No one will need to know the truth.
People will be blinded from the truth.