Runaway

So after watching sad stories, I finally remembered when the hardest moment of my life, in terms of love life was. It was that day I ran from home. It wasn't just because of a girl, Linna if you guys don't know about her. It was more about the family issues i had to deal with. But today its not about that. It's more about how I felt about Linna back then.
If i were to describe my feelings for Linna back then, it might be one of the strongest. Honestly, its hard to compare my feelings for Linna and Yiwen. They are both strong, but they exist in a very forms.  I like to describe myself in relation to fire. Fire does make a good imagery for my feelings at least. Which kind of flame would Linna be? What kind of flame would Yiwen be?
It is quite easy to describe it as a form of fire. I'll start with Yiwen, because the heroine of this post is Linna. My feelings for Yiwen is like a flickering flame on the wick of a candle. It burns slowly and it wasn't really stable. There were moments where it almost dies, leaving just a splint and there were moments where it withstood the winds.
My feelings for Linna was like a campfire. I kept throwing firewood into it and the more vicious it burns. But it ended up at a point where the flames burn too quickly that no matter how much firewood i throw in, I wasnt able to keep up with it. In the end, the feelings exhausted itself.
But then that wasnt the thing that really devastated me. Not sure if people know about Justin and Linna, but people say i got snaked. But that wasn't really true. On that day, I ran away from home and sought for Linna to comfort me. We met at the library and because i needed to stay over at Alex, I brought Alex with me. And Alex brought Justin. I really liked Linna alot back then, I would say I gave her the best of me and also the rest of me.  I wasnt too sure what she felt about, but we were close and we were close to the point that we wouldve both made a mistake. Well, at least i would.
The moment, Justin and Linna met. A tsunami of despair rushed through me. I'm not sure if anyone of you felt this. How should I describe what happened? The person you are in love with and the person who is your friend, the moment you introduced them. You saw them click. And at the moment, you realised it wasnt going to be you. It will never be you. No matter how close you are right now, you have already been overtaken in that one second. You have buried your own hole. You got what you sought.
Well, sometimes i ask myself, if that event never happened, would it have been possible? Would i perhaps put an end to this drought and curse back then? Who knows? It probably wouldnt have worked out.